My 6,205th day of this incredible journey called "Life"

But day one of furreal furreal blogging.

I really do regret what I did. I regretted it since the day it was produced in my mind. I think what i did is proof that desperate times really do call for desperate measures. Please excuse my ambiguity in telling you exactly what it is that i did. I'm not trying to set you up for excitement or create thoughts in your head, but I honestly cannot tell you what happened. I guess i'm just writing to clear my mind, but not give away too much personal info. And hey! No one's forcing you to read this, right? I think if you compare everything bad thing i've done in my life, this is definitely to worst one. No it has no relevance to drugs, alcohol, a fight, or a boy...but it was still terrible. I feel so bad. I usually don't have a conscience about anything i do, but this time i did. I never slept because all i could think about was what will happen to me the next day. It's over now and i got what i expected. But i think if anyone were in my situation...as many times as i have been...they would have acted along the lines of how i did. I'm not a bad person, i just do things without thinking and never really think about what will happen to me in the future. I'm a live for today kinda girl. Because of what i did, i can't go to this concert that i've been DYING to go to since i found out about it last year and the sand of trust with my parents at the top of the hourglass is slowly falling down.

But it's okay, right?? I'm only human and how can i learn without making mistakes? I will never lie again. I can't and i refuse to. What's done is done. this dark past is the past and the only way to go now is ahead. The future is what awaits and i know it's gonna be bright. :)

-Beena